Mutual understanding’s the basic of lasting relationship. But to implement it is by no means an easy task. Your nonverbal and verbal behaviors assure your partner that you want to understand the message. Maintaining eye contact, focusing on what is being said, and giving feedback regarding your understanding of the message, communicate caring and acceptance.

Empathy allows us to enter our partner's perceptual world and to spontaneously feel what our partner feels. Empathy may not result in agreement, but it allows us to demonstrate understanding. If we are empathic, our partner is more likely to reveal feelings and perceptions. Sharing our deepest feelings enriches our relationship.

What do you do when your partner does not understand you or your feelings or when your points of view are incompatible? Observing yourself in these situations will help you measure your empathy.

 

This exercise will give you practice in behaving empathically:

• Identify an issue or an area that is difficult for you to discuss with your partner.
• Examine the issue from your partner's frame of reference. Can you identify the attitudes, feelings, and values that your partner holds regarding the issue?
• Discuss the issue from your partner's point of view for three to five minutes.
• What was it like to feel or think like your partner?
• Now reverse roles and examine the issue from your own point of view. What are your feelings and beliefs regarding the issue?
• Discuss the issue from your own point of view for three to five minutes.
• Evaluate how the role reversal helped you.
• Through expressing and listening to words and feelings, you and your partner can grow to know each other more intimately.

Source: http://sheknows.com/about/look/3453.htm